I plopped down on the sofa, cold and numb, with the cell in my hand trembling.. Anil has passed away. After all the bitter struggle put up by his family and friends to keep him alive, Anil chose to say GoodBye, leaving his 3 pre-teenagers to the mercy of a brutal world.
Chettai spoke as if nothing is lost..I know his world is shattered. Anil was his best buddy. How can he not ... cry. Why his voice is not trembling. But then he has proved in so many times before, that he can hide an elephant in his heart... let alone the emotions.
I too had pretended to be very close to GOD, declaring that Anil would survive all the challenges. But something again told me 'What has to happen will happen, GOD has got nothing to do with it". Rather I do not know when HE will throw up his hands and say 'It is all over'.
The sweet faces of the kids swept before my eyes and my heart wept. My own childhood came tumbling back.
I tried to reason with God, again one more time.
"You can't be like this ! You can't be!. Where have you gone wrong in your design for planet earth and human beings. Why do you almost always choose the same handful of people to suffer, suffer always.. right from birth to death. Because I see the same people in a vicious cycle of hardships throughout their lives... unable to come out anytime, when the rest of the world is having a blast. Did you have a serious memory lapse when you gave them the final touch from your pot of luck/unluck."
As I tried to hold my heart from flowing over, a thousand questions loomed large in my head. . waiting to be answered.
Then the wind blew........... reminding me that I am only a lesser mortal !
(Dedicated to our friend Anil, who passed away last week. May his soul Rest in Peace.)
NB: Chettai means Brother; Here my Brother-In-Law
Chettai spoke as if nothing is lost..I know his world is shattered. Anil was his best buddy. How can he not ... cry. Why his voice is not trembling. But then he has proved in so many times before, that he can hide an elephant in his heart... let alone the emotions.
I too had pretended to be very close to GOD, declaring that Anil would survive all the challenges. But something again told me 'What has to happen will happen, GOD has got nothing to do with it". Rather I do not know when HE will throw up his hands and say 'It is all over'.
The sweet faces of the kids swept before my eyes and my heart wept. My own childhood came tumbling back.
I tried to reason with God, again one more time.
"You can't be like this ! You can't be!. Where have you gone wrong in your design for planet earth and human beings. Why do you almost always choose the same handful of people to suffer, suffer always.. right from birth to death. Because I see the same people in a vicious cycle of hardships throughout their lives... unable to come out anytime, when the rest of the world is having a blast. Did you have a serious memory lapse when you gave them the final touch from your pot of luck/unluck."
As I tried to hold my heart from flowing over, a thousand questions loomed large in my head. . waiting to be answered.
Then the wind blew........... reminding me that I am only a lesser mortal !
(Dedicated to our friend Anil, who passed away last week. May his soul Rest in Peace.)
NB: Chettai means Brother; Here my Brother-In-Law
